I hold the pamphlet in hand, with a yellow highlighting pen on the other hand. This is the fourth one we are going through today. Exams is in a few days and I had promised him this semester we would be studying together before exams. He has this weird notion that whenever I help him study he gets to score an A. ‘Baby, si we just stop kidogo tumpumzike,’ he says as he takes away the highlighter and lays on my lap. He looks like a child, grinning sheepishly from ear to ear, his dimples deep like those mud terrains found in the great Nyando, you know that sub county that is always flooded with rain and has mud every day?
He picks the half smoked cigarette on the melamine pink plate on the white tiled floor and lights it and puts it between my two fingers. I blush a little, he seems to know me quite well. I quietly inhale the smoke and puff it on his face on my lap, and proceed to kiss him first a little, then deeply. He is a beautiful man, his got this light complexion, almost carrot like, his mouth is pink, it keeps on reminding me of my favorite ice cream flavor. He is tall, a little muscled from having to carry my dark curves daily.
‘Baby, do you ever think of how our little girl would look like,’ he asks as he lights another cigarette for me. It is weird how he doesn’t smoke but feels comfortable when I do. He says it kind of reminds him of how he met me. I was never innocent even with the innocent face. I pick the smoke again from him as he stands from the floor, pours himself some water and sits directly opposite me on his floor mattress. I think deeply about his question and he sits there staring, waiting for me to answer.
‘She will be called Wangare, the kikuyu name, meaning the leopard. She would be fierce in everything she does. She would be very beautiful; I hope she gets both our colors for her skin. You know when a dark and white chocolate mix, it forms something like caramel. I hope she gets your deep dimples, and your pink lips, and your soft hair. However, I want her to have my curves, you know those from the lakeside, with beautiful hips and a big derriere and I hope she gets my legs too, which I got from my Luhya mother. Wangare will be very smart, I will make sure she eats fish everyday so that she becomes top in her class. I would dress her up like a doll and show her off proudly. Have I answered your question darling?’
He chuckles hard, his laughter sounding like the summer rain and the birdsong too, and every time I hear it, no matter the weather, the sun brightens. I watch him proud of myself and my answer. I have been thinking much about this, how I want to have his baby, he would go for a girl, so that he gets two women in his life and adore them both at the same time. His talked of how he will make me jealous by loving our little girl and giving her all the attention she needed. It might be just a dream for both of us, but this is what keeps us going owing that we are still nineteen and still in campus, but a little dreaming never killed anyone.
The floor am sitting on starts to get cold, am wearing his boxers and his big grey hoodie which covers half of me. I stand, reach out for my school bag and retrieve more pamphlets, he frowns. I then pull out a bottle of whiskey. His frown is replaced with excitement. I pour myself a shot of whiskey. He watches me as I put the bottle down and sip the first tot, then the second. I know that I amaze him sometimes. I pour him some in a glass. ‘So darling, you know Wangare is not going to be conceived by the holy spirit,’ I seductively tell him as I put his whiskey glass down and sit on his lap. I hug him tightly, my legs knotted on his waist, and kiss him deeply again and slowly amidst the kisses he moans, ‘Baby, you are so naughty! But I hope she gets your hurricane of a soul…’